The Sickies!

[00:00:15] Speaker A: Jake, I feel like we should come in with, like a musical number or something. Just. Welcome to the Sickies. [00:00:22] Speaker B: Yeah, we're performing. Singing in the rain, out in the streets of San Francisco, which is completely underwater. [00:00:29] Speaker A: Fun. Welcome to the 1st and or 20th annual Sickies. No one can quite say we've. [00:00:35] Speaker B: No one can ever know [00:00:37] Speaker A: we kept them underground as a secret society. These. These are the awards that we give out at any point that we want. And we thought we'd get all dolled up for the occasion to. To give out some awards today for what was the first half, in essence, of the 49ers season. So, Jake, I don't know. Let's just. Let's just get on to it. Let's start with. Let's start with, you know, some of the technical awards, you know, some of the ones that, you know, you got to kind of run through. You know, they're not giving you a long speech here. The Jordan Jefferson. This big guy will be forgotten, but we kind of liked him. And we still don't get what really went wrong, but he was up and down and we're not really sure what happened, but now he's gone. And that award goes to. Naquan Jones. Naquan Jones is the recipient of the Jordan Jefferson Memorial. Oh, yeah, that guy. [00:01:26] Speaker B: Yeah. We really should have had, like, a soundboard here going on. Just [00:01:33] Speaker A: the tuxedo. Yeah, put it in. Put [00:01:34] Speaker B: it in. We'll put it in post. Our editor that. We definitely have put it in post. Yeah. Naquan Jones had one game where we went, this is a guy. This is a real guy. And then he was gone and we went, okay, yeah, that's about right. [00:01:50] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. So let's get to the next one. We got. We got to burn through these. We got a lot of them. The curse number award for excellence in lower body issues that aren't new. And that award goes to. Mike Evans. Mike Evans, curse number award for excellence in lower body issues that weren't new. Who would have thought a dude who's been on the injured list with a hamstring injury for five straight years would have a bunch of injuries. [00:02:14] Speaker B: You know what? I. Yeah, I gave him in the Hutch Report. I gave him the Greg Jennings Award, which is the same exact award, but it's [00:02:21] Speaker A: just on your back. [00:02:23] Speaker B: It's for playing incredibly well while looking so, so, so, so visibly in pain. [00:02:29] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:02:30] Speaker B: At any given moment. [00:02:33] Speaker A: It's not the Abe Lucas Award. You have to play excellently in order to get. [00:02:37] Speaker B: That's right. [00:02:38] Speaker A: The curse number Award for excellence in lower body issues that aren't new here is the Brock Purdy Memorial. It doesn't matter if we sucked early in drafts, because we'll just find a guy on day three GEM Award and Jake, there were. There was some hot competition for this one. [00:02:54] Speaker B: Hot. [00:02:56] Speaker A: But I'm going to say that this award this year goes to Jaden Duggar. The day three gem. That just makes up for the fact that it doesn't matter what you did on day one and two if you get somebody on day three. [00:03:09] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm with you. I gave him. I. I rebranded it as the did not. Did not see that Coming award. Gene Duggar. Because I did not. I did not. [00:03:18] Speaker A: No. [00:03:19] Speaker B: How [00:03:19] Speaker A: could you [00:03:19] Speaker B: not a fan. I was, I was not in at all. [00:03:22] Speaker A: The only, the only way that you could have been in on Jaden Duggar was blind loyalty to the brand [00:03:28] Speaker B: and to the fact that he's a big guy with a lot of athleticism and saying, all right, they're going to coach him. Right? [00:03:35] Speaker A: The Jonathan Award for Excellence in Football. [00:03:39] Speaker B: Yeah, that's right. That's right. Jonathan Kaminga. Remember, [00:03:43] Speaker A: guy just got done with an hour podcast with Danny. The amount of times I had to hold back from saying Jonathan Kaminga's name was more than once. [00:03:52] Speaker B: Yeah, [00:03:52] Speaker A: yeah. Jaden Duggar. What? I don't, I don't even know if it will be some spectacular fine, like, oh, he'll take over for Fred Warner when it's all said. Nothing like that. The fact that he can give you, like, competent, above average, [00:04:05] Speaker B: like, impressive reps. He has not been targeted as, like, a very clear liability and just been attacked and attacked and attacked, which I, like, legitimately thought he would be a huge problem. [00:04:16] Speaker A: The [00:04:16] Speaker B: teams would go at him, but he's just been great. They. And I think it's because they started him off and they said, look, you're going to do one thing. You're going to basically be an extra defensive lineman and you're just going to stand there and be big and large and you're going to try and set an extra edge for us and just stand there and be athletic and do that, and then you're going to learn as the season goes on and he's done that and he's, like, not been a liability in coverage. He's been pretty reliable as a tackler overall, just, like, pretty solid. Which for what he was and for the project, we thought he'd be Jane Duggar. Shout out. [00:04:53] Speaker A: Well, then, let's now move to the next award. This is an Important award. One that we all know the long lineage of the practice squad. Winklevoss's award. [00:05:03] Speaker B: Yep. [00:05:03] Speaker A: That is when two players are in fact treated as one person throughout the entirety of the movie. And that movie being the 2025. Well, now 2026 season. Who knows what year it is again, we do this so often. [00:05:16] Speaker B: That's right. [00:05:16] Speaker A: And that the winner of the practice squad Winklevoss's award is Kadero Hodge and Malik Turner. [00:05:22] Speaker B: Shout out to both of them. Daryl Hodges now back on the roster. Malik Turner has disappeared. [00:05:28] Speaker A: And we'll. We'll switch it up again in three weeks. This could also have been called the Parent Trap award. [00:05:34] Speaker B: Correct. And there's non zero chance one of them makes a playoff catch. Impossible to say who at this point. [00:05:42] Speaker A: 50, 50 shot. [00:05:44] Speaker B: You know, both of them, they've done some stuff. Kadiral Hodge, probably more than Malik Turner this season. [00:05:49] Speaker A: Sure. [00:05:49] Speaker B: But have both been called upon. And who's to say who's who? [00:05:54] Speaker A: I can't tell one part. I can't do it. They might just be one person. Two different. They got. [00:06:00] Speaker B: That's a football player. [00:06:00] Speaker A: They kind of got a Jason Bourne situation where they just got like a bunch of passports. And I'm the same man. [00:06:08] Speaker B: I like that. He. I don't know if you've ever seen it, but he's like, I don't know how to act. He's like, I just. I just have always done the same role and they've never told me anything different. Oh, no. I'm thinking of the transporter, not Jason Bourne. [00:06:21] Speaker A: Jason Statham. [00:06:22] Speaker B: Yes. So sorry. [00:06:24] Speaker A: Jason Statham. It's like, what other profession can I do the same thing in? Now you are a beekeeper. Now you are a construction worker. I think they're just doing it by the Alphabet. Donut maker. So the next award. This is a big one here. Well, one of them is big and the other one isn't. This is the Alvin Camara Legs are not the same Size award as Alvin Camara. Famously went to a doctor after about 10 years in the NFL and found out his legs weren't the same size and had a resurgent year once he got him to be the same size. Hope Nick Bose has got that number because he wins the award. [00:06:58] Speaker B: That's right. Honorable mention, Zach Charbonnet. He's a strong contender for the award as well. But for the 49ers, Nick Bose is a clear winner. Guy who's no longer eligible to win this award is Christian Watson. [00:07:12] Speaker A: True. [00:07:13] Speaker B: Fixed the problem. Similar to Alvin Camara. [00:07:15] Speaker A: Fix the leg problem. I do not believe Christian McCaffrey ever had the wrong size leg problem, but I might just be overlooking. [00:07:21] Speaker B: No, I think he probably had. Was I. I think they probably conditioned him to be exactly proportional since the day he was born. [00:07:28] Speaker A: Pretty [00:07:29] Speaker B: much. Remember, Christian Watson just like went to the hospital and then came back mid game. [00:07:33] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:07:33] Speaker B: In the same ambulance. So, like keep it running. [00:07:37] Speaker A: I'm just popping in. I forgot my lunchbox. Yeah. [00:07:41] Speaker B: Good stuff. [00:07:42] Speaker A: Yeah. Second most famous ambulance in recent NFL history. Okay. This is the we can't cut him because he's bad at two Things award. [00:07:51] Speaker B: That's right. [00:07:52] Speaker A: So, yeah, they would cut him if he was bad at one of the two things. But since they need him to do two things and he's bad at both of them and is apparently the only one who could be bad at two things. [00:08:00] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:08:00] Speaker A: The award goes to Jacob Cowing who has somehow run [00:08:04] Speaker B: away. Run [00:08:05] Speaker A: away for [00:08:05] Speaker B: this award. I think in training camp you could argue there were some other contenders, but he very clearly ran away with this thing. Very few people can do what he does in terms of like not returning the ball well, not making good decisions on when to catch the ball. And also just a cake. Making one catch every two games, [00:08:28] Speaker A: which Brock Purdy like visibly fears throwing the ball in his direction. [00:08:32] Speaker B: So. [00:08:32] Speaker A: So, [00:08:32] Speaker B: yeah, nauseous as he's throwing the ball. [00:08:35] Speaker A: The Jacob Cowing. I think honestly he might just get the name of this movie. [00:08:39] Speaker B: Probably [00:08:40] Speaker A: the Jacob Cowing we can't cut him because he's bad at Two Things award. This is a [00:08:44] Speaker B: change that might change very soon. [00:08:47] Speaker A: We'll find out. And yeah, the next award, the Connor Colby award for excellence in starting strong and then fading on a weekly basis to unplayableness. The winner, Conor Colby. [00:09:00] Speaker B: Yeah. This is. This was a one person race. There was no one else, as the name suggests, who's eligible for this award. Connor Colby started off hot, did the thing where, you know, we were not fans of the tape and we say, all right, let's give some guys some deference. Hey, [00:09:18] Speaker A: sure [00:09:19] Speaker B: played pretty well this week. [00:09:20] Speaker A: Sure he did. [00:09:22] Speaker B: He did that week after that. And here's the thing. You watch them, you'll go, oh, that's. That was a good drive. Oh, nope, that was a good first half of a drive. And then it goes downhill. [00:09:37] Speaker A: The. We're just going to ignore that award for Peptides or something else like it. This is one that Jake doesn't know about. This was a secret one. We're just going to [00:09:43] Speaker B: tell who the winner is. [00:09:44] Speaker A: Yeah, we're just going to ignore that. We're just not going to say anything. And the award goes to George Kittle, who will not be giving an acceptance speech. [00:09:52] Speaker B: That's right. Oh, the next one's pretty good. Next one's pretty good. [00:09:56] Speaker A: This is, this is a big one. It's a very important one. Get out your Subway sandwiches, put on your Nike, because This is the Mr. Unlimited Award for Russell Wilson Excellence. [00:10:05] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:10:06] Speaker A: Obviously Russell Wilson excellence is a very specific kind of excellence. [00:10:10] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:10:11] Speaker A: This is to say nothing of the person. Russell Wilson, which has a whole other level of excellence which is not as enjoyable for most, [00:10:18] Speaker B: which has actually never been recreated. [00:10:21] Speaker A: No. [00:10:21] Speaker B: Or matched in any sense. [00:10:23] Speaker A: One of one. [00:10:24] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:10:25] Speaker A: Yeah. An American original. Russell Wilson. But yeah. The Mr. Unlimited award for Russell Wilson Excellence, parentheses, kind of being a little out there, goes to Brock Purdy. [00:10:37] Speaker B: Brock Purdy. I mean, [00:10:38] Speaker A: again, another, another win for the Mr. Unlimited Award. [00:10:44] Speaker B: Truly. I mean, he's, he does the thing where he just doesn't get sacked very often because he's got that innate ability at the very last second. It doesn't matter that he doesn't have that elite speed. He has an elite quickness and he has an elite sense in the pocket to just go, let me get out of the pocket. Let me get out of there. Let me get out of there. Let me do something real stupid where my coach is going to do the Steve Kerr. No, no, no, no, no. Yes. Okay, great. That's, that's what he's doing. [00:11:10] Speaker A: Put, put the impost. Just, just run that over a bunch of times. That was really good. This is the Isaac Garendo award for fumbling once and then never getting another carry. This has not happened yet. This is a predictive award, but it goes to Jordan James, who fumbled, of course, against Atlanta on, I believe, his only carry of the game and probably his last carry of the [00:11:31] Speaker B: year. And then, and then Kalon Black fumbled on the very next next play. [00:11:35] Speaker A: He didn't even lose it. Caleb Black lost it. I don't know why you're taking it out on Jordan James, Kyle, but that's what's going to happen. It's the Isaac Garendo award for fumbling once and then never getting another carry to Jordan James, who has been a wonderful kick returner. [00:11:46] Speaker B: Yes, he has. I was going to say he's still going to get plenty of those as [00:11:50] Speaker A: long as he doesn't fumble there either. [00:11:52] Speaker B: Yep, [00:11:52] Speaker A: this is, this is, this is a good one because again, there's, there's one that we save for the end that we need to make sure we end on that's, you know, the big one, the one that we obviously all [00:12:03] Speaker B: know we're [00:12:04] Speaker A: building up towards. This is the 2022. So let me try that again with English this time. The 2022 draft class award. The Memorial Draft Class Award. Last pick excluded for nope. So it's the 2022 Memorial Draft class Award. Last picked excluded for nope. And that pick goes or that award goes to Enrique Cruz. [00:12:31] Speaker B: Yeah, [00:12:32] Speaker A: big no. [00:12:34] Speaker B: He's just on the roster. He's. [00:12:36] Speaker A: He's around, [00:12:37] Speaker B: he's there. Maybe. Probably not. [00:12:41] Speaker A: I mean [00:12:41] Speaker B: it could be called the maybe but probably not award. [00:12:45] Speaker A: I just want to quickly run through, just for posterity's sake, The San Francisco 49ers. 2022 draft class selections. Round two, pick 61, Drake Jackson. [00:12:59] Speaker B: Yep. [00:12:59] Speaker A: Round three, pick 93, Tyrion Davis Price. [00:13:03] Speaker B: That one was like at the time you're like, [00:13:06] Speaker A: wait until you get this one. Round three, pick 105, Danny Gray. [00:13:12] Speaker B: That one was at least like, this isn't gonna work, but it'll be fun if it does. [00:13:18] Speaker A: Like most bad decisions prefaced by that statement. [00:13:21] Speaker B: It's like this guy can't play receiver, but if he could, it would be awesome. [00:13:25] Speaker A: Great. Round four, pick one 34. This one actually comes out looking okay. Relatively. Spencer Burford. [00:13:32] Speaker B: Yeah, he was. He was a very solid player playing for the Raiders. Yeah, that one worked out. [00:13:42] Speaker A: Sorta. Round five, pick 172, Sammy Womack. [00:13:47] Speaker B: Yeah, I should say it worked out. Except for the super bowl and very key moments that lost him the game. [00:13:52] Speaker A: Other than that. [00:13:53] Speaker B: Yeah. Sam Womack. Yeah, he. What happened? He was doing well for like [00:13:58] Speaker A: Colts. [00:13:59] Speaker B: He's just like disappeared. [00:14:00] Speaker A: I don't know, maybe. Maybe [00:14:01] Speaker B: he is still playing for the Colts. I don't know. It's. [00:14:04] Speaker A: It hasn't. It hasn't come up lately. Yeah. Round six, pick 167, Nick Satel. [00:14:11] Speaker B: See, still somewhere. He's probably somewhere in the facility. [00:14:14] Speaker A: He's on. He's on injured reserve. [00:14:16] Speaker B: Ah, right. [00:14:17] Speaker A: They injured reserved him. Kalia Davis. Probably the best player out of this round six. 220 [00:14:24] Speaker B: for about the six games a season he'd play. [00:14:26] Speaker A: And about the six snaps in those games. Round six, pick 221, Tariq Castro Fields. [00:14:34] Speaker B: Oh yeah, Penn State. [00:14:37] Speaker A: And then the last pick was some guy named Purdy. So that was the 2022 49ers draft class, which also, you know, just going back to it could have been again the inverse of the nope award. [00:14:49] Speaker B: Right. [00:14:49] Speaker A: Is the Brock Purdy Memorial. It doesn't matter if we suck it early in drafts because we'll find a day three gem. [00:14:54] Speaker B: Of course. Of course [00:14:54] Speaker A: no one thinks about the 2022 draft other than the last guy they took. They could have taken any of those players and just not taken them and taken Brock Purdy and then we wouldn't have to constantly be fighting with people on the Internet. And why didn't they think of that? This is the Trent Sherfield award for pretty solid blocking and other helpful things. Guy they should ask about again one more time. The Trent Sherfield Award. [00:15:18] Speaker B: Yes. [00:15:18] Speaker A: For pretty solid blocking and other helpful things Guy that they should add. Who is that, Jake? [00:15:25] Speaker B: That'd be my cousin, Xavier Hutchinson. The [00:15:29] Speaker A: black Hutchinsons. [00:15:31] Speaker B: That's right. A guy who played with Brock Purdy at Iowa State who almost certainly will not be available by the Texans. [00:15:37] Speaker A: They've run out of receivers. They added four and they lost them all. [00:15:41] Speaker B: Yes. Who lost? They drafted. They also drafted two Iowa. I didn't realize how many. They had three Iowa State receivers on the roster. [00:15:48] Speaker A: Yeah, because when you think big passing offenses, you start with Iowa State, you're like, [00:15:53] Speaker B: baby, [00:15:54] Speaker A: we only need one scouting trip. Get me to Ames. [00:15:57] Speaker B: And they couldn't decide because everyone was like, which Iowa State receivers better. And they're like, we're just going to take both because like, we don't. We refuse to make a decision. And we'll make, you know, [00:16:07] Speaker A: we'll put it on the cutting room floor. We'll give it both [00:16:09] Speaker B: out for the year. Xavier Hutchinson not going to get dealt because need him and he's like really good. He's like. Also not just like a Trent Sherfield guy. Like can really run routes and is kind of snapping off the top. Good player. Good player. [00:16:21] Speaker A: I would say the Trent Shearfield award for pretty solid blocking and other helpful things Guy that they should add is Trent Sherfield. [00:16:27] Speaker B: Yeah. Is he still around? [00:16:29] Speaker A: Yeah. He's omnipresent trencher. If he'll never go. The [00:16:32] Speaker B: other. The other one would be Juwan Jennings, who refused to rejoin the team for. I think [00:16:38] Speaker A: I had not heard [00:16:39] Speaker B: anybody's sake. [00:16:41] Speaker A: I mean, we very much forget how little Juwan Jennings enjoyed dealing with John lynch and how marginal the patience was. Like, if Juwan Jennings didn't play football in a way that got Kyle kind of hard all the time. Like, Juwan Jennings would have been released 14 different times. He's a bit of a ne' er do well. [00:17:07] Speaker B: It's also like not going to make more money by coming to play for the 49ers, like, really [00:17:14] Speaker A: not know the active income tax rates of Minnesota or. But I know. I [00:17:18] Speaker B: just mean, like. Like staying in Minnesota in that. It's a bad offense, but at least he's the clear number three still where it's like, maybe. Maybe they [00:17:30] Speaker A: could have used him like, three weeks ago. Now they got all these receivers back. [00:17:33] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:17:33] Speaker A: Yeah. The who the hell is that guy Award. This is a great one because every. Every week you find somebody new in our travails through NFL coaches film. And sometimes you find them in a game that's happening live on television or in front of your eyeballs where you're like, I watched how many? Hundreds. [00:17:56] Speaker B: I don't remember this at all. [00:17:57] Speaker A: Who the fuck is this guy? Who. Who the hell is that Award. And this year it goes to. And this is a recent one. This was a late comer. [00:18:04] Speaker B: Yes. [00:18:05] Speaker A: Atlanta defensive tackle La Kail London. [00:18:08] Speaker B: There's another London on the Falcons, folks, and arguably [00:18:12] Speaker A: the better one. Some people are saying. Some people say [00:18:14] Speaker B: five sacks last year, like, just absolutely destroyed Connor Colby at times. [00:18:21] Speaker A: Not that. Really [00:18:22] Speaker B: fun player. Really fun player. [00:18:24] Speaker A: I, like, [00:18:25] Speaker B: like him a lot. [00:18:26] Speaker A: Yeah, [00:18:27] Speaker B: like him a lot. [00:18:28] Speaker A: This is the training camp and Australia hypebeast bust of the year. You can [00:18:34] Speaker B: winner here. Big winner. [00:18:36] Speaker A: Could not. Could. The air came out of the balloon immediately. Absolute massive rupture of the. [00:18:44] Speaker B: Literally one drive. [00:18:46] Speaker A: One drive, just empty. And the winner, of course, is Jack Jones, who not only had a terrible game against Atlanta, but was immediately cut afterward. [00:18:59] Speaker B: They said that [00:19:01] Speaker A: there's no backup. They just cut him. [00:19:03] Speaker B: They said, listen, whatever else is out there is better than whatever that was. It's over. After he was picking off everything in training camp, which is also one of those things where it's like, was he running the right player? Was he just trying to, like, pick passes off? [00:19:19] Speaker A: I maintain that all of this could have been avoided if you just let him return punts. [00:19:24] Speaker B: I agree. [00:19:24] Speaker A: Hyperactive toddler. You just need to let him run it out. And he would have been calm and cool. You have a very active dog. [00:19:32] Speaker B: I do. I was just gonna. Yeah, he. Listen, I took him out in the rain today. He went rolling around in the mud, and [00:19:38] Speaker A: he's been [00:19:39] Speaker B: sleeping for about four hours. It's [00:19:40] Speaker A: been great. You gotta run him out. They're great dogs once you get that energy out of them. Jack Jones, he just had too much energy. He was. He's a supernova of energy. He put it all into running the wrong place. This is the hell yeah, brother trade of the season. It's not DeForest Buckner to the San Francisco 49ers. It's in fact Jeffrey Simmons for two first round picks and some other stuff to the Chicago Bears. He switched out red sleeves for orange sleeves. Immediate dividends. [00:20:09] Speaker B: Looks sick. Looks like just the sickest football player of all time. Like he already looks like a career Bear, if that makes sense. Like he kind of looks like he's always been on the Bears. The [00:20:22] Speaker A: uniform suits him a hell of a lot better than whatever those Tennessee ones are now. [00:20:27] Speaker B: He's so good at football. He's [00:20:28] Speaker A: very, [00:20:29] Speaker B: so good. He's also my idp, my fantasy football team. Just a tremendous. But [00:20:36] Speaker A: no one cares about your fantasy football team, much less the really esoteric one. Award to Jake Hutchinson. [00:20:42] Speaker B: That's right. That's right. I defeated our buddy Sam by a record score this week where if he played any other team in our 20 team league, he would have won. He didn't take it well. [00:20:54] Speaker A: Really? Yeah. So I have been testing the theory for the last three weeks that I think that the Niners number one threat in the NFC is the Bears. Well, now everybody's on the old Bears bandwagon again. Peter had it first. Y' all came around on Seahawks last year. Y' all coming around on Bears now. Their offense is immaculate. I love their offense. [00:21:20] Speaker B: Our sweet boy Luther Burton just is [00:21:23] Speaker A: M to the eye to the Z. He's awesome. I think Roma Dunes A is outstanding. I know that it's not as productive as people want. [00:21:38] Speaker B: He. He's [00:21:38] Speaker A: kind [00:21:38] Speaker B: of got like the old school IUK of like opening up everything else for everybody else. And then it's like when you need like a key medium intermediate crosser, he's winning. [00:21:51] Speaker A: I love him blocking. I think he's an elite blocker. And yeah, Ben Johnson's offense I do think is going to run up against some walls here. It gets too cute by half pretty much all the time. [00:22:05] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:22:06] Speaker A: And there are some questions that can be asked with Caleb as there are questions that are asked with Brock on a weekly basis here. But Dennis Allen's a great defensive coordinator. There's enough talent that they were able to get by. And now Simmons just force multiplies everything on the interior. And if I had to make a bet, I would say right now, 49ers, Bears, Santa Clara, California, NFC championship game. [00:22:32] Speaker B: Yeah, [00:22:32] Speaker A: that's [00:22:33] Speaker B: my bad. I buy that. I buy that. I [00:22:35] Speaker A: still think Seattle can. I don't think Seattle has enough offensive talent at the skill positions to make up for the fact that Brian Fleury isn't like a level up guy. Like, he'll get. If you have the talent, he won't it up, but he won't level up your lesser talent. And [00:22:51] Speaker B: really, really, really need that run game to figure something out [00:22:55] Speaker A: for sure because no one's biting on play action. You see the linebackers on play action with. With Darnold see [00:22:59] Speaker B: Sam go, oh, no, oh, no, oh, no. [00:23:01] Speaker A: You know. You know what, Sam? Listen, I'm not gonna pretend like I know more about this than Flurry, but like, legitimately, I'm. I'm not doing it. But like, how about you run him a little bit? Tell Sam Darnold, like, hey, I know you just want a Super Bowl. We're gonna need you to Josh Allen for a game because he's got some wheels. [00:23:17] Speaker B: He did tweak his ankle in that game. But I. But I think generally speaking, I'm with you. [00:23:23] Speaker A: Yeah. Simmons. Simmons looks incredible. Austin Booker, their defensive end, I think is gonna just go off to another level now because he'll be getting one on ones [00:23:32] Speaker B: united with Montez sweat too. [00:23:34] Speaker A: Anytime you can get down with sweat, just love getting sweaty. They have shitty linebackers. They should probably make another play for that. Kyle would probably feast on that in that predictive NFC championship game. But I think it is, I think right now, if you had to do tears, I would say the Niners and the Bears are in the top tier of like, yes, but. And then everyone else is like, but. Well, yeah, that would be the Rams to a degree. The Seahawks and Minnesota. Maybe all of the teams in the north other than the Bears. [00:24:06] Speaker B: Yeah, I was going to say the Lions, like, have a little something. I just don't trust that defense. But like, [00:24:13] Speaker A: Brian Branch being back helps for them. [00:24:16] Speaker B: Yeah. And I think they get Kirby Joseph back too. So it's like [00:24:19] Speaker A: that's their entire defense. By the way, who is doing more ads for less production this year? Is it Cam Scatterboo or Aiden Hutchinson? Or I [00:24:31] Speaker B: would say Ronald Acuna Jr. [00:24:33] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, that's a good one. I leave under home [00:24:38] Speaker B: immediately after getting swept out of the playoffs. It's like I'm partnering with Calci and I live under home plate. [00:24:43] Speaker A: I live under home plate. This is the best place to be. Those Calciads. Yeah. [00:24:48] Speaker B: Way up there with the. I want to say it's the Emirates ads that I saw the other night that are like, come back to Dubai. We promise it's safe. [00:24:56] Speaker A: Oh, [00:24:56] Speaker B: no. Be showing you this if it wasn't safe. [00:24:59] Speaker A: I have unlocked a new. So I'm old And washed. And I've never been particularly cool, but now it's over and I'm. You know, I watch every Sharks game, every warriors game. Right. And so I have on sports on television all the time. [00:25:15] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:25:15] Speaker A: As most of us do, based on this. And there's that prize picks ad where they run through like five people to sell you prize picks, where it's like muscle guy, hot blonde chick at the [00:25:30] Speaker B: pool. Yeah. [00:25:31] Speaker A: Muscle lady, fat Latino guy on a dirt bike. Oh, for five. I have no idea who any of those people are. It's some real curtains for Zusha energy that's happening right now in my life. [00:25:44] Speaker B: There's so much money being washed right now. [00:25:47] Speaker A: I don't know if those people are famous or they were just actors. I don't know who those people are. Are they supposed to be. I presume they are the influencing realm. I'm too afraid to look it up. [00:25:59] Speaker B: Nor should you. Nor should you [00:26:01] Speaker A: hit us in the comment section if you know who any of the five people in that prize picks ads were. One of them is not Larry Krueger. I can assure you be doing Brown Face would be very bad. [00:26:15] Speaker B: Would you like to continue? [00:26:17] Speaker A: Yes. Let's end with, of course, the award that everyone has been waiting for, the piece de resistance. This is, you know, at cans they give like 30 minute standing ovations, which I've always found to be just ridiculous. Like, he got a 29 minute standing ovation for his performance. It's like really 29 straight minutes. Like, we got it after one, [00:26:40] Speaker B: right. I can't. I actually can't fathom clap. [00:26:42] Speaker A: Is there like one guy who just keeps going and then henceforth it is no longer. Right. The standing station. [00:26:47] Speaker B: It's like at Golden Gate park at Hippie Hill, where it's like an eternal drum circle. [00:26:51] Speaker A: Right. [00:26:51] Speaker B: There's like always one guy keeping it going. Could be that. It could be like that. [00:26:55] Speaker A: There's a. [00:26:56] Speaker B: Speaking of which, drum roll, [00:26:58] Speaker A: drumroll. [00:27:02] Speaker B: Camelot Award. [00:27:03] Speaker A: Who does it go to this year? Who is the winner of the most important award at the Sickies, the Cam Latu award? [00:27:11] Speaker B: That would be Nick Martin. Who? Nick. Nick Martin. [00:27:14] Speaker A: Who? [00:27:15] Speaker B: Nicholas Martin out of Oklahoma State. Nick [00:27:20] Speaker A: Bosa. Oh, no. Nick Martin. No, no, I don't know about him. [00:27:26] Speaker B: So here's the thing. Could he come back? Sure. Possible. Every time Kyle Shanahan is asked about him, he's like, I. I have not even thought to ask about Nick Martin. By the way, his injury, in case you've forgotten, was a hamstring injury. [00:27:41] Speaker A: Strain. [00:27:43] Speaker B: Debo Samuel had a hamstring injury that they're basically like, he tore it off the bone and he's back in like three weeks. Like it's a hamstring injury. So, and, and so, like, yeah, he could come back. They don't have enough spots to bring back all the guys they've put on ir. It doesn't seem like he's coming back. He is very clear and maybe it changes, but he is far and away the front runner for the Camelot. [00:28:07] Speaker A: Well, yeah, he wanted going away. I mean, you could also have given it to Nick Sakel. You could have given it to Brett Toth. [00:28:13] Speaker B: Yeah, but there's a level of, like, investment here that is required. And as fellow third round pick. 75th overall. [00:28:21] Speaker A: 75th overall. Bob wouldn't even take him with him. Bob, we wanted to give you something on the way up. [00:28:29] Speaker B: Breaking news on the Bob front. Guess who just rejoined the roster? [00:28:34] Speaker A: Who? [00:28:35] Speaker B: Bob Beal Jr. Wow. What a reunion. Reunion of the season award. Not DeForest Buckner. Bob Beal. [00:28:44] Speaker A: The. Bob's back together again. [00:28:47] Speaker B: Yeah. I believe the Miami Dolphins said, no, [00:28:50] Speaker A: no, we're good. And the Tennessee Titans are like, we love a Dolphin cast off. [00:28:56] Speaker B: Bob Beal back on the 49ers practice squad. Reunion of the season. [00:29:01] Speaker A: Wait a minute. No, he's. No, Bob Beal is back on the Niners practice. Yeah, [00:29:04] Speaker B: he's back on the 49. [00:29:05] Speaker A: I thought you went. [00:29:06] Speaker B: No, [00:29:06] Speaker A: no, no, no, [00:29:07] Speaker B: no, no. [00:29:07] Speaker A: He's back [00:29:07] Speaker B: on the San Francisco 49. [00:29:08] Speaker A: Oh, no. Why would they do that? [00:29:11] Speaker B: He's back. Just like [00:29:13] Speaker A: what happened to Ogbo? [00:29:15] Speaker B: Unclear. Unclear. I think they wanted a larger guy. [00:29:20] Speaker A: I'm big. That doesn't mean anything. [00:29:23] Speaker B: I don't know what to tell you, Deer. He's back. [00:29:26] Speaker A: I [00:29:26] Speaker B: do have. I do have a couple more awards. I. I'd like to give out two in succession. So I have the current NFL MVP and then I have the 49ers MVP. [00:29:37] Speaker A: Wonderful. Okay, so current NFL MVP is [00:29:41] Speaker B: Josh Allen. Just because like. Like, what is Buffalo without him? Absolutely nothing. [00:29:47] Speaker A: They're bad. Like [00:29:48] Speaker B: a legitimately bad team. Yeah. Number two for that award, Brock Purdy. Number three for that award, Jackson, Smith and Jake. That's how I have it. That's how I have it structured. Okay. [00:30:00] Speaker A: I think Caleb Williams has an argument for three. [00:30:03] Speaker B: Sure. I'm. I'm not there just yet. I kind of think they have enough backups that they could sort of. [00:30:09] Speaker A: Did you watch any of them play? [00:30:11] Speaker B: I did, I did. I did. I know it's not good. He's kind [00:30:15] Speaker A: of helps. [00:30:16] Speaker B: Probably. He's probably four on my list. I know [00:30:19] Speaker A: it's not important. And the 49ers MVP of the first half. Ish of the season. [00:30:25] Speaker B: Mike Evans. [00:30:26] Speaker A: Mike Evans, [00:30:27] Speaker B: you would say. Jake, how could you have Brock Purdy as number two in your MVP voting for the NFL? [00:30:34] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:30:35] Speaker B: And Mike Evans as the 49ers MVP [00:30:37] Speaker A: if [00:30:38] Speaker B: Brock Purdy's not the MVP of his only team? Because one. That's not how awards work. Mike Evans doesn't have enough production even be considered. Brock Purdy is clearly an incredibly valuable player, but they. But the 49ers also have a backup quarterback who they have been able to win with anyway. Mike Evans. They just can't function without him. The only game they have lost this year is without Mike Evans. Let me give you a few stats that, like, you don't even need. But he leads all receivers in the NFL with a nearly plus one EPA per target. [00:31:12] Speaker A: Did you say plus one? [00:31:13] Speaker B: Yeah, it's 0.97, which is a crazy number. [00:31:17] Speaker A: They get a point every time they target Mike Evans. [00:31:20] Speaker B: Yes. [00:31:21] Speaker A: That's insane. What's Jackson, Smith and Jigba. [00:31:24] Speaker B: It's like point six something. It's like. It's like. Yeah, [00:31:28] Speaker A: it's [00:31:28] Speaker B: crazy. [00:31:30] Speaker A: That's so good. That's such a great poll. [00:31:32] Speaker B: It's an insane number because EPA is sometimes like. What does that mean? It's like. Oh, wait, no. They get a point every time they throw it towards him. Yes. Every [00:31:38] Speaker A: time you throw it his direction. He's worth one point on the board. He's a rouge. [00:31:42] Speaker B: That's right. He is third in total receiving EPA behind only JSN and T. Higgins, who have played every game and have gotten a lot more volume. [00:31:50] Speaker A: Right. [00:31:51] Speaker B: He's fourth amongst receivers with a 34.5 target share and second in catch rate over expected. The 49ers have a plus 0.423 EPA per play. With him on the field, it's negative 0.58. Without. They are a negative offense. Without him. They are the best offense in the NFL. With him. He is the 49ers MVP. [00:32:14] Speaker A: Yeah, that's fair. That's fair. I would also heard Fred Warner. [00:32:18] Speaker B: I. I did consider him. I did consider him. [00:32:23] Speaker A: We'll say we'll save the other stuff for another award show. Surely there will be another one at some point. In the meantime, 49ers are going to play the Raiders on Sunday. Who do you think starting at quarterback for the Raiders? [00:32:36] Speaker B: Ooh, I think it's still Kirk. I think It's Kirk's last game. By the [00:32:41] Speaker A: way, [00:32:42] Speaker B: the number of second in long runs from the Raiders. I don't know if it's Clint dialing them up or if they're checking to them, but it drives me crazy. And Seattle did some of that where you're like, what is it about, like, these, like, I don't know, Shanahan Tree guys where it's like, second and long, we're dialing up a run that's going nowhere with our inefficient offense. I do appreciate Clint saying Ashton Genti is no longer a running back. He is a wide receiver out of the backfield. [00:33:12] Speaker A: That's not a thing. [00:33:15] Speaker B: So [00:33:16] Speaker A: couldn't have been fourth on my running back depth chart list in that draft. [00:33:19] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:33:21] Speaker A: End of the show. [00:33:22] Speaker B: See you. [00:33:23] Speaker A: Talk to you later. Bye.